A woman was wandering down the crowded streets of a busy city that never slept. Under her big brown eyes, black streaks were marked on her cheeks. The woman looked like she had been crying. The woman had no place to be nor anyone to be with.There was a grave sadness that trailed after her. She walked with her arms crossed in front of her chest as if holding the last of herself together. All the woman could think of was what the doctor had just told her. The doctor’s exact words hammered in her mind, breaking her each time she recalled them. The thought of never being able to have children of her own was so devastating that she could feel herself slowly dying.
Ever since she was a little girl, she would play with her little dolls pretending to be a mother. She would care for her dolls with such love that only arouse her enthusiasm towards one day having a real child and starting a real family of her own. Now that she was married to a man she loved immensely, she was so anxious to have a baby. She thought of the wonderful experience she would have when having the baby in her belly, slowly growing and becoming a part of her. She thought of how beautiful it must feel to have the little being move within her. A life she had been given the chance to bring upon this earth. She could only imagine the smooth “bum-bum” sound of the little child’s heart. She wanted to know what it would feel like holding the little child in her arms, hearing its steady breathing and knowing that its tiny little heart was beating. The simple thought of just having someone of her own who would love her unconditionally was enough for her butterflies to fill her stomach.
It killed her to think that all those illusions she once had of having a child, were just an impossible dream. There was no hope for her. Nothing she could change. How would her husband react when he found out? Would he still love her even though she could never give him a child? She felt useless. She would never have the privilege of being a mother. She would never experience the warmth of being called “mommy”, of having her baby run up to her for comfort when scared. She thought about all the other women in the world who were able to have children yet chose carelessly not to. It broke her heart yet enraged her that while she was dying on the inside because she couldn't bring a child to the world, another woman was dying because she didn't know how to get rid of a child that was already preparing to come into the world.
The women kept walking through the city and saw a park across the street. In the park, there were many little children running around and giggling innocently at their games. They ran around without a care in the world, happy as can be. The woman walked through the small black gate and sat down on a wooden bench in front of the slide. The woman was watching them with her torn illusions, yet it made her happy to see the children playing games as if their entire life was a never ending game where there is only joy. She saw a little boy who looked about five years old. He had blonde curls long enough to fall slightly over his head. His eyes were a deep sea blue and his lips a pale rosy color. His fingers were dirty with much and he had signs on his face of having swept those little dirty hands of his across his cheek. The boy made her feel bubbly because he was wearing a blue superman shirt with a bright red cape on the back. It seemed terribly adorable how he kept trying to climb up the slide, keeping all the other anxious children from taking their turn down.
The little boy, holding on to the sides of the slide seemed determined to climb up the slide. He seemed so focused on his goal even though with every step he took upwards, he slid back down. The other kids were becoming impatient and started yelling out at the little boy to move because they wanted a turn down the slide. The little boy in his superman shirt ignored the other kids. One big boy yelled down at him “I’m going down, so you better move unless you want me to hurt you!” The little superhero kept on with his climb. Then, the bigger boy just slid down and knocked the little boy down hard on to the floor. Instantly, the woman stood up and ran towards him.
For a moment, her thoughts had been focused on the little boy so when she saw him on the floor, she thought it was her opportunity. She picked up the crying child in her arms and tried calming him down. The boy held his tiny little elbow in pain while at the same time, cried of fear because of the strange woman who was holding him. The little boy began calling for his mommy, but the woman would not let him go. Her mind was not thinking clearly. “Maybe i should take him home with me,” she thought to herself. She squeezed him tighter, close enough to her body that she could feel the child trembling with fear and his heart pounding rapidly. She felt a cold rush through her body and a tingling sensation on the back of her neck. She looked around frantically in sign of the little boy’s mom. No one was around. “This is my chance,” she whispered. “ Now is my chance.” Her exasperation had taken over her. At the moment, her mind wasn't thinking straight. It was all happening too fast.
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